Cleanliness, hygiene, respect... Will you just hear me out?

I currently have no person in my life whose finger I would stick in my mouth! Nope, not a soul. Now I know that this connection may not be so obvious but danged... common peeps...

There are many people who I love and/or like that do some gross stuff in/to the common food and drinks. I want to first acknowledge that what you do with you and yours is entirely up to you and I REALLY don't want to know. But when it comes to the whole of us, the group, the gang, the gaggle, the crew, the bunch, would you refrain from sticking your fingers in the communal food? Please don't 'just grab a few fries' off my plate. I hate the wave of revulsion I feel at your having put your fingers in my food, the desire to stab you with my fork and now my meal being near ruined.

DO NOT stick your frickin finger in the dip, soup, frosting what have you "just to taste it". I swear to you that when I cook I NEVER do that. It is an integrity thing to me. I know you think your hands are clean since you were just in the bathroom and thoroughly washed them, turned the bathroom door handle with your pristine hands, gave the dog's head a pat, ran your fingers through your hair, gave your mobile a quick peek and are now suspended over the common plate feeling oh so clean. YOU ARE NOT. Sheesh!

While we are at it. Just because you are 'stuffed' with half the food left on your plate DO NOT shove your plate toward me and ask if I want some. I really do not want to witness any aspect of that sort of 'sharing' unless you are offering your food to your mate in which case that is the extent of your intimacy I want to enjoy. No I do not want a bite off of your already knawed on anything.

Also, a large size bag of whatever is being shared needs to be poured out of not dug in to. Let's pretend that we are all wait staff at a restaurant and really did pay attention to our food handlers class and really believe we are honoring our customers.

Hmmm, it is kind of like the idea of doing the right thing when no one is looking, okay?

 Please don't ask me for a sip of my anything, okay? Unless of course I would put your finger in my mouth...