I currently have no person in my life whose finger I would stick in my mouth! Nope, not a soul. Now I know that this connection may not be so obvious but danged... common peeps...
There are many people who I love and/or like that do some gross stuff in/to the common food and drinks. I want to first acknowledge that what you do with you and yours is entirely up to you and I REALLY don't want to know. But when it comes to the whole of us, the group, the gang, the gaggle, the crew, the bunch, would you refrain from sticking your fingers in the communal food? Please don't 'just grab a few fries' off my plate. I hate the wave of revulsion I feel at your having put your fingers in my food, the desire to stab you with my fork and now my meal being near ruined.
DO NOT stick your frickin finger in the dip, soup, frosting what have you "just to taste it". I swear to you that when I cook I NEVER do that. It is an integrity thing to me. I know you think your hands are clean since you were just in the bathroom and thoroughly washed them, turned the bathroom door handle with your pristine hands, gave the dog's head a pat, ran your fingers through your hair, gave your mobile a quick peek and are now suspended over the common plate feeling oh so clean. YOU ARE NOT. Sheesh!
While we are at it. Just because you are 'stuffed' with half the food left on your plate DO NOT shove your plate toward me and ask if I want some. I really do not want to witness any aspect of that sort of 'sharing' unless you are offering your food to your mate in which case that is the extent of your intimacy I want to enjoy. No I do not want a bite off of your already knawed on anything.
Also, a large size bag of whatever is being shared needs to be poured out of not dug in to. Let's pretend that we are all wait staff at a restaurant and really did pay attention to our food handlers class and really believe we are honoring our customers.
Hmmm, it is kind of like the idea of doing the right thing when no one is looking, okay?
Please don't ask me for a sip of my anything, okay? Unless of course I would put your finger in my mouth...
Monday, December 26, 2011
Things ain't what they used to be...
Alrighty then! Let's just get to it...
My over $2000 bed that is less than 2 years old is one big sag hole! A big ol' piece of lumpage! I am so over it. I did my research and oh what glowing reviews, "it slices, it dices, it cradles, it rocks..." whatev, it ain't worth the money!
There are just certain things that are all but impossible to find quality and so far they are:
Top of the list and currently most annoying - mattresses. No longer my grandma's great mattress that I helped her 'flip' like it was a pancake just golden brown. Nope, about every year I find that my bed is giving me backache and I am stuck in what amounts to a hammock. Then for the next year or two I tell myself big lies such as, "this is a very good quality mattress it cannot be failing already", "the reviews were so good on this mattress clearly it is my posture", "no way is it time to replace this thing, it looks brand new" blah, blah, blah until I finally break down and buy a yet another 'high end' name brand bed with a "lifetime" or "25 yr" warranty. The problem is that the sag in the bed has to be 4-6 inches deep before the warranty is 'upheld'. Well, it is only taking 2 inches of dip to make my ass ache! No more, mattresses have now joined the ranks of items that I will no longer pay big dollars for expecting longevity. I will buy inexpensive and see if I can get a year or two.
Vaccuum cleaners. Nope. No more vaccuums of my childhood that looked like antiques by the time I was born. They just kept going and going and going... if they weren't working you changed the belt or bag, plugged it in and we were back in the saddle.I have tried Windmakers, Suction Riders, Crumb Grabbers and more for $700 - $1200 in hopes that I would find a vaccuum cleaner like dear old mom had. Forget about it. Even servicing the plastic gadgetry costs more than it is worth, and the filters, belts, dual hepa blah blah bags are a fortune. Now. I will spend $100 max, maybe used - except ick the bed bug thing - no new, $100 and hope for the best.
Blenders. I remember having the same danged avocado green blender my entire childhood! For goodness sakes it never died! As an adult I kept trying to get a topnotch blender that would last well, at least my lifetime. For a while there I was again in denial. Especially in that, like most U.S. families today there is a food processor and a grinder so the blender is really only for smoothies. The danged thing oughta last a long time! Nope. Finally, at least 5 over $80 highly rated blenders the last of which didn't even give 10 blends (you already know I didn't have the danged box!). No more than $20 for a blender, when it bites it bites...
Televisions. I will bet the first t.v. I ever owned is still alive somewhere... Why did I need bigger and better which turned out not to be better at all. They just get worse and worse. This morning I discovered that the 40 whatever inch living room t.v. cannot connect with the d.v.d. player due to one of the inlets or whatever they are called has 'failed'. Not going to do a doggone thing about it. When that bells and whistles jerk plays out I will replace with something that costs no more than $200.
Coffee pots, toasters, mixers, electric knives - nope, all crap... $20 max going forward.
Nothing spellls disgusting consumer like all of the above. Maybe I can find our old avocado blender in a thrift store for $5.
My over $2000 bed that is less than 2 years old is one big sag hole! A big ol' piece of lumpage! I am so over it. I did my research and oh what glowing reviews, "it slices, it dices, it cradles, it rocks..." whatev, it ain't worth the money!
There are just certain things that are all but impossible to find quality and so far they are:
Top of the list and currently most annoying - mattresses. No longer my grandma's great mattress that I helped her 'flip' like it was a pancake just golden brown. Nope, about every year I find that my bed is giving me backache and I am stuck in what amounts to a hammock. Then for the next year or two I tell myself big lies such as, "this is a very good quality mattress it cannot be failing already", "the reviews were so good on this mattress clearly it is my posture", "no way is it time to replace this thing, it looks brand new" blah, blah, blah until I finally break down and buy a yet another 'high end' name brand bed with a "lifetime" or "25 yr" warranty. The problem is that the sag in the bed has to be 4-6 inches deep before the warranty is 'upheld'. Well, it is only taking 2 inches of dip to make my ass ache! No more, mattresses have now joined the ranks of items that I will no longer pay big dollars for expecting longevity. I will buy inexpensive and see if I can get a year or two.
Vaccuum cleaners. Nope. No more vaccuums of my childhood that looked like antiques by the time I was born. They just kept going and going and going... if they weren't working you changed the belt or bag, plugged it in and we were back in the saddle.I have tried Windmakers, Suction Riders, Crumb Grabbers and more for $700 - $1200 in hopes that I would find a vaccuum cleaner like dear old mom had. Forget about it. Even servicing the plastic gadgetry costs more than it is worth, and the filters, belts, dual hepa blah blah bags are a fortune. Now. I will spend $100 max, maybe used - except ick the bed bug thing - no new, $100 and hope for the best.
Blenders. I remember having the same danged avocado green blender my entire childhood! For goodness sakes it never died! As an adult I kept trying to get a topnotch blender that would last well, at least my lifetime. For a while there I was again in denial. Especially in that, like most U.S. families today there is a food processor and a grinder so the blender is really only for smoothies. The danged thing oughta last a long time! Nope. Finally, at least 5 over $80 highly rated blenders the last of which didn't even give 10 blends (you already know I didn't have the danged box!). No more than $20 for a blender, when it bites it bites...
Televisions. I will bet the first t.v. I ever owned is still alive somewhere... Why did I need bigger and better which turned out not to be better at all. They just get worse and worse. This morning I discovered that the 40 whatever inch living room t.v. cannot connect with the d.v.d. player due to one of the inlets or whatever they are called has 'failed'. Not going to do a doggone thing about it. When that bells and whistles jerk plays out I will replace with something that costs no more than $200.
Coffee pots, toasters, mixers, electric knives - nope, all crap... $20 max going forward.
Nothing spellls disgusting consumer like all of the above. Maybe I can find our old avocado blender in a thrift store for $5.
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